Sunday, February 12, 2006
5:56 p.m.
Sober II

There's a shadow just behind me,
shrouding every breath I take,
making every promise empty,
pointing every finger at me.
Waiting like a stalking butler
who upon the finger rests.
Murder now the path called "must we"
just before the son has come.
Jesus, won't you fucking whistle
something but the past and done?

Why can't we not be sober?
I just want to start this over.
Why can't we drink forever.
I just want to start things over.

I am just a worthless liar.
I am just an imbecile.
I will only complicate you.
Trust in me and fall as well.
I will find a center in you.
I will chew it up and leave,
I will work to elevate you
just enough to bring you down.

Trust me.

Mother Mary won't you whisper
something but what's past and done.

Trust me.

I want what I want.

Dear Kurt,
I woke up late this morning almost at 9:30 a.m. with a BIG hungover, I had a huge headache so I had a Tylenol and a Maruchan soup with lots of hot sauce on it; well, that cured it a bit. *sigh of relief* I went out for a walk so I picked up the Sunday paper and brought it home to read, that also helped lower my hungover.

I made my bed around 10:30 a.m. and took a shower, that cleansed me of my sobriety. *another sigh of relief*

I went out with my parents around 2 p.m., my Dad wanted to get a haircut but our longtime stylist Marilu was busy with a perm and had 4 haircuts to do; I was gonna cut my hair but it's not long enough yet,lol.

We went to Lowe's, which is at the Irvine Marketplace next to Target, to browse at some curtains that Mom wants to buy; we saw some lovely ones that will go with the living room and dining room. :-)

We then went to go eat at Carl's Jr. and it was a little busy, some good-looking Rocker dudes were sitting on my far left so I tried not to stare too much. *giggles* After we ate we went to Home Depot to buy a new showerhead for my bathroom because the old one was..., well imagine it, lol.

Anyway...
Last night's party was fun! :-D Monica and Evan picked Mom and I up around 7 p.m., we got a little lost on the way but got there safely.

Bertha was there along with Blanca who I now refuse to call her "what's her name" because of all that she's been through after losing my cousin Elisa, she was polite. She kindly said hello to me and asked how work was, she mentioned that she had gone to Elisa's grave to "leave Valentine balloons" so I almost cried. *almost crying right now* Let's skip the subject...

I got so drunk on Bud Lights, I don't even remember how much I drank, lol. I sang Karaoke, I did two

Vicente Fernandez

popular Rancheras (love songs) which were:

1. Por Tu Maldito Amor (For Your Damned Love)
2. El Rey (The King)

I thought my voice was okay, people thought the same. :-D I was drunk but they didn't notice nor laugh. *giggle*

The food was good too:

Sushi
Sausages
Salad
Chips
Crackers

*Mostly snacky "hors d'ouvres" stuff. :-)

I saw the ending to Green Day's "Jesus of Suburbia" while sitting in the living room with Dorian's son Alex, he's cool; he didn't like them though so I kept bragging, with my drunk voice, how good they were. lol

I got home, late at night, at 2 a.m. walking wobbly into my room and undressing myself to put my pajama on then I went straight to bed while feeling everything going in circles still.

Well, that's all my drunk tales for now.

Love,
Pancho Pantera