Wednesday, June 22, 2005
2:14 p.m.
Somewhere I Belong

'); document.writeln('');

Linkin Park Lyrics

Dear Kurt,
I'm so sorry that I didn't update yesterday, I didn't get a chance to go online on neither our laptop or Eli's.

Well, i've been feeling much better these last two days (yesterday and today). :-) *sigh of relief* Here's what I wrote last night in my journal:

10:01 p.m. Tuesday, June 21,2005
Dear Kurt,
I got home half an hour ago, i'm laying in my bed baking like a chicken in the oven; but at the same time feeling much better, as in emotionally.

Well, Eli is a sweetheart, as I have written many times about her, so today she took Bertha and I to talk to her psychic friend Ferouzeh. Well, that really helped bring my energy up because i've been feeling so "low in batteries" in the days previous to today. :-)

Ferouzeh told me that the reason why I, as I told her at the beginning of my 30 minute therapy session, feel rejected & depressed is because I'm "bored" with my life. She told me tht I shouldn't be "making [myself] small, [I] should break ouf of [my] shell." She recommended that I "go out and walk 15-20 minutes, cut down on the sugar, drink less milk (at least every other day), be more active." I told her about my "infamous" anxiety attacks and she told me to do this breathing exercise "when I wake up and before I go to bed" and do the same thing when I feel angry, just step away and go to my "own space."

I asked her other personal questions such as "why [Monica] is so jealous of me?" and she answered that she simply "wants to be the baby" since I told her that i'm the youngest.

Speaking of family, she says i'm "ashamed" of them. Hmm... how & why? Her and I couldn't explain.

Anyway...
I went on to ask her questions about my 3 best friends and these are the answers I got from each one of them:

Prudence: "She wants something from me, like close contact or perhaps live near or with me." "Hmm..." is all I can say.
Catrin: She [Ferouzeh] doesn't see anything with her. Another "Hmm..."
Luis: "He doesn't use words seriously" I told her I was anxious to meet him but I shouldn't take him too seriously.

[...] *I wrote personal stuff here*

We had dinner around 5 p.m.; Claudio made steak with tomato and red bell pepper sauce on it, which was good. I tried to use to Eli's laptop but it wasn't warming up too well.

Well, today is/was the first day of summer, so that's why I'm laying on my bed shirtless almost baking. :-S I told my Mom about my therapy session and she was happy. I guess this is a new beginning for me: NO MORE STRESS, DEPRESSION, BEING INDOORS, SUGAR, AND ANXIETY!!

I'll sleep well tonight. :-)

Anyway...
I'm sitting out in the patio trying to cool off from this infernal heat. :-S I'm wearing shorts and a white tank. I watched a soccer game with Mom an hour ago, it was Mexico vs. Greece. They scored a goal, but the dumb referee marked it "out of place". Shoot, they would of won 1-0 but the game ended in 0-0. Good playing though. *gives Mexico the thumbs up* :-)

That is all for now.

Love to everyone,
Pancho Pantera